I’m often asked about the difference between D/s, M/s, and O/p relationships, frequently with an added comment like, “They’re basically the same thing, right?” Or “ Isn’t it just a question of degree?” As is the case with many “straightforward“ questions, these are surprisingly complex issues. For one thing, in the real world of BDSM…
Category: Relationships
Master/slave – Owner/property
While a Master/slave, or Owner/property, relationship can be a very short term arrangement, often called a scene, the goal is often a long term, symbiotic relationship. You could wake up one morning and decide “I want to be owned by someone” (or own someone), but it is often a relationship type or orientation that lies…
Power Exchange
I talked about Power Exchange relationships in my last article, BDSM basics. But, today I am going to go into more detail. As I mentioned, all relationships have an element of Power Exchange, whether you realize it or not. Your teacher assigns homework; you do the work: the teacher has the power, that you gave…
BDSM basics
Such an intriguing acronym, BDSM- Bondage/discipline, Dominant/submissive, Sado-Masochism. The first and most important feature of BDSM is forming an agreement with the person that you will be doing or sharing these activities with. You should never engage in any BDSM activities without one. Agreements can be as simple as negotiating the amount of times and…
What’s Your Relationship Orientation?
Say what? Orientation? You know, What kind of relationship works best for you? So often, we look around at our parents, our peers, stories, movies, and more, and pick up, from our earliest awareness, how we are supposed to structure or intimate relationships. Sometimes the people around us are great about telling us or showing…
Racial Awareness
I recently heard a panel discussion on open relationships. The discussion ranged from “relationship orientation” to unicorns, and while there were bits and pieces of the discussion that were extremely relevant to our time of loving in the era of covid-19, one topic struck me much more significantly. I like to think of myself has…
Dirty Little Secrets
We all have “thoughts” that turn us on. Some people fantasize about feet, some the feel of leather against their skin, a spanking – both giving or receiving – and a mountain of other luscious desires in between, on top, and over. But, we are often afraid or shy or nervous about sharing these thoughts…
Movin’ In
Sharing a space with someone you love can be a wonderful experience. It can be so exciting and romantic. You get to fall asleep with each other every night and wake up next to each other every morning. Having someone home with you so you can do nothing together can be relaxing and even bonding….
Ahh, Valentine’s Day
Today is the day marketing makes all of us either feel bitter or sad because we don’t have a fill-in-the-blank, or moon-faced because we do. For some of us, the memories of all those Valentine’s Days Past where we were unable to express our true selves and love whom or how we wanted to bring…
Fruits, Vegetables, and Relationships
Next time you visit your grocery store, take note of your relationship to produce. What do you look for? What are your expectations? Consider this: We’re doing to fruits and vegetables what we do to relationships. We’ve gradually come to expect produce to look like the glossy, air-brushed pics in magazines, and we think we…