The perfect excuse when you are “not in the mood”- a headache. But I’m going to venture a suggestion that may seem unpopular and could come across as offensive to some. Why not just do it anyway? If you are in a respectful relationship, with good communication and boundaries, what’s wrong with putting out when…
My Blog
The Power of Power Exchange
I was watching a panel discussion recently on BDSM and Power Exchange. Although I am well-versed in the subject, I find it is always a good idea to go into these things as if I am a complete novice. It allows me the opportunity to let someone else answer the questions, and it is often…
Why am I doing this?
Good relationship question: Why are you doing this? Many people seek out relationships as a matter of course, with no thoughts to what they are looking for and what they hope to gain. I’ve talked about this urge before: You know, that sort of blind romanticism. But here is an even more mysterious question: What…
Where Did Everybody Go?
“So, have you been on any holidays recently.” “Yes, my husband died and everybody’s sent me to Coventry, like everybody’s trying to avoid me.” “They all ask about you.” “Well, yes, they ask you about me, they don’t ask me about me.” “You know what they are like, they’re embarrassed.” Sal and Tip, Series 1,…
Sex and Disability
Fact: Most people with a disability wanna have sex too. As humans we have a tendency to categorize people — especially those that may be different from us — and put them in boxes like sexy, dumb, ugly, intelligent, blonde, asian, disabled, fat, gay, and on and on. When we put people into these boxes…
Love you
For many of us, we know our parents love us and we love them. It is also the case that those of us with kids love our kids and we love them. You could say that that love flows back and forth despite knowing them or even without actually knowing them. It’s good to be…
“I Should Have Seen This Coming”
Bo: “Could I just ask what this meeting’s for? Is this angry divorcee’s or croning?” Jobo: “No, the menopause, Bo.” Bo: Oh, we don’t have that in America. We don’t believe in it, certainly not in L.A.” Absolutely Fabulous, season 4, episode 6 Menopause At some point in our younger years we hear this word:…
Eating for Better Sex
There are lots of foods out there that have been shown to improve sexual function. You could call them all aphrodisiacs, but many don’t necessarily turn you on as much as help you get it on. Erectile Disfunction is a huge problem, and many people think it’s just what happens as you age. But is…
Sex and Temporary Disability
I use temporary in the title to mean just that, temporary. Long term disability and sex is an invaluable topic and needs to be discussed, but I’ll leave that for another time. Temporary disability means that in time it ends, and things can go back to “normal”. You can also, often, plan for it. Let’s…
Power Exchange: start here
I’m often asked about the difference between D/s, M/s, and O/p relationships, frequently with an added comment like, “They’re basically the same thing, right?” Or “ Isn’t it just a question of degree?” As is the case with many “straightforward“ questions, these are surprisingly complex issues. For one thing, in the real world of BDSM…