I’ve talked before about love being an action. Some people would would call it showing love; I prefer “doing love.”
Have you ever asked yourself, What love do I do? I’ll give you an example, Some people are service-oriented. They help others, and it’s in their nature. So, a person like that might do their loving by “serving” someone, ensuring certain things are done in a certain way that best pleases them.
Maybe you like the idea of making breakfast for your partner every morning. Maybe bringing them coffee and cookies in the afternoon is a perfect way to love them. And that might be true: You have to be careful because if you girlfriend doesn’t like to eat breakfast, or what you are cooking, and doesn’t drink coffee, but instead prefers tea, then you actually may be only loving yourself.
Suppose you love by gifting. You work hard for your money, and loving someone by giving them gifts fills your heart. That’s great, right? Yes, it can be, but what about the daily? It’s true that it may take some time for the high of the giving to dissipate and thinking about daily might be overwhelming. But consider this: Gifts of love come in all shapes and sizes — and many are even free.
You might be a server, a buyer, a cooker, or a praiser, or any of the endless ways we do love. I highly recommend you discover how you do love. But if the other person in the relationship does not realize or cannot appreciate what you do as love, then you’ve got some work to do. As a love coach I can help you discover what loving works best for you and how to talk to your lover or potential lover about how you and they do love, and how you can do love together.
Nathalie