Ah, love. So natural, so wonderful. We just fall in love, right? And then, everything is wonderful. And then, what?
We feel love for our parents, grandparents, children, neighbors, friends, lovers, and so on. On the surface that love may look the same — we use the same word, after all — but when we think about those people individually it stirs things inside us that make them different from each other. Some of those feelings are more intense, some may make us giggle, and some may bring up memories of childhood escapades. We love these people, however different they or the relationships may be. But, how do we love them? That question can be taken in many different ways: How are we able to? How does the process work — physiologically, physiologically? How, even in knowing their flaws, can we? But what I am asking here is, What are the every day things that you do that help you experience the love that you are having with a particular person? For my interest and probably yours, let’s talk about your intimate relationships, your lovers, your boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, partners — you get what I mean.
If you are like many of us, this question may stump you. People don’t often pay attention to the “every day.” We like “special”. We bank on Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, Christmases, and birthdays to get and give proof of our love with expected, whether the other person knows or not, grand gestures of LOVE- ie. gifts, pronouncements, etc.
What do you do in the everyday? Do you make your husband’s coffee every morning because you know he needs a little extra kick? Are you always on time for your dates because you know you girlfriend likes to know and count on what time she is going to be picked up? Do you spend an extra few minutes after work changing from work pants to a skirt and hose because you know she likes it? Do you forgo the dinner out with friends because he’s had a one of those days and just wants to sit and stare at the TV, but not alone.
You see, these are all small but quite significant things you can do as part of the shared experience of love. Love is not just an adjective to describe how we feel. We use it all the time as a verb. That’s a doing word in case anyone needs a refresher. I love you, she/he loves him, we love each other. So, if love is an action, then what are you waiting for?
Nathalie