Yep, that’s what I said (in the previous post), an agreement. Yes, like a contract. How many times have you rolled your eyes and grudgingly washed the dishes, or cleaned the cat box, or paid for dinner, or. . . ?
An agreement in a relationship helps create boundaries, establish expectations, and prevent those eye-rolling disputes. When you sit down with your lover, boyfriend, partner, whatever, and negotiate an agreement by which the relationship will be guided, you will, in one fell swoop, resolve problems that haven’t cropped up yet. Even better, you can decide together what to call each other!
Wouldn’t it be nice to know, like know for sure because it has been discussed and decided ahead of time, that you will be taking that stroll through the farmer’s market on the weekends. How about knowing that you agreed to wash the dishes and he agreed to clean the cat box, or that you agreed to take turns paying on Friday date nights?
Having an agreement, even at the beginning of a relationship, reduces potential anxiety and resentment. This will give you more space to enjoy each other and your experiences together. And as the relationship progresses, so to will the agreement. Agreements can always be revisited and rewritten. They can even have expiration dates.
Nathalie
PS An advance agreement about your first date can take a lot of unnecessary anxiety out of your first meeting and help you keep your pants on or off, whichever you prefer.