In the previous post, we indulged in a little story time.
How was it? All that fantasizing and story telling get your juices flowing and your heart a-flutter? You’ve worked a few things out now and you‘re ready to dip your finger in the pie?
Now, you have to take all that fun stuff and apply reality to it. Let’s have a peek at Samantha and Darren. They’ve decided living together is something they want in their relationship. The two of them will have a dog, split the bills, and . . .
Let’s take a closer look at what each other is thinking. Samantha’s thinking Every Saturday morning we’ll breakfast in bed then head out to the farmer’s market. And Darren’s thinking Every Saturday morning I’ll sleep in because I’ll have stayed up so late on Friday night playing poker.
S: On Sunday’s we’ll lounge around all day reading or have a putter around the garden.
D: Sunday’s I’ll have the gang over to watch sports on the new big screen TV.
Okay, okay — forgive! That example was full of stereotypes. Sometimes examples have to be pretty stark to get the point across. So, did I? How many people do you know who complain about how their significant other spends or doesn’t spend their time?
It isn’t enough to “know” your relationship partner before jumping in. I totally get that that is were the romance lies, BUT, thinking these points through, talking them out together, and making an agreement about expectations in the relationship will clear the path for a whole lotta romance and a lot less smoldering resentment.
Nathalie
“We need to talk.”
“Sure.”
“About our relationship. I’m just starting to think it’s getting a bit hot and heavy and we both need to back off and cool down. You know maybe we should just both think about where everything is going and whether we are starting to commit more than we intend to or want to.”
“What relationship?”